Monday 11 June 2012

Closing doors and opening new ones, but will they be slammed in my face?


I am so ashamed to admit that I haven’t posted on the blog lately when others in the post-academic community are sustaining their blogs with prolific and fun entries. My apologies to them for my recent lapse in commenting on some of their great posts. I’ve mentioned in my last post that the excuse for my inactivity this past month or so is because I have been offered some paid academic work that was added on to help with the project I was employed on until February. It was nice that my manager found the money and made it clear that he didn’t want to exploit me by asking me to work for free. On the other hand, while some of the work has been enjoyable, another side of what I’ve been doing has just left me feeling a bit steeped in the world that I’ve been mentally trying to set myself free of. My manager also seems to have tacked on some tasks that weren’t included at the start and I’m having that feeling of the never-ending academic project that I now want to see the back of. I know there are other post-academics maybe feeling the same way as they are in the transitional stage – half-in, half-out. It’s a tricky state of mind when there are no other employment options available.

So, I’m kind of at the end of this batch of work and looking forward to closing the doors on it. On another note, I have been applying for yet another job over the last few days. I won’t say too much about it, except that it’s at the university where I did my PhD and it is not an academic/faculty position, but more administrative. It’s an interesting spec, and I have many of the transferable skills that are needed for it. But I find, as usual now, that I am gob-smacked at the never-ending list of expectations and criteria attached to these kinds of posts that in turn are offering a relatively low salary. You would have thought they were hiring a tenure track prospect with the pages of responsibilities listed and to know there isn’t much of a financial reward is a downer. So much for a career in the UK university sector. Anyway, as with most of these new career prospects, I’ve had to bite the bullet and expect lower pay to get on the ladder.

But one of the things that is really bugging me is the application section that asks applicants if they have a disability. I’ve been inspired a bit by Currer Bell to mention this now, considering her interest in Disability Studies. Anyway, I’ve noted before that I have a diagnosis of Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis, which is listed as one of the chronic health conditions that may affect an individual’s ability to work. What is interesting about this is that the university and other institutions will state that they encourage people with disabilities to apply and if they fit the criteria they will be considered fairly like any other applicant. But the area always feels a bit grey to me. As the following question goes something like, ‘Does this condition affect your ability to fulfil regular work duties’.  Well, in most cases the answer is, it doesn’t, and I probably wouldn’t be applying for that kind of job if it did.  I usually then fill in more by adding that the condition is very well managed and I have no mobility limitations. If I had to admit any issues, I guess I could say that yes, fatigue can set in and I live everyday with the usual numbness and tingling sensation in the limbs (sometimes spasms which can be visible when they suddenly occur), but these are just uncomfortable realities that I have learned to live with. In one case when I was on a teaching contract at a new unviersity, I was phoned by the their contracted service who asked me a long list of questions about my mobility. This was after I clearly stated that mobility was not a problem – did they even understand what Relapsing-Remitting MS was? And when she used the phrase, ‘I hope you understand that we just need to ensure that you are fit to work’, I thought I would scream. This was the kind of moment when I thought, well, if there’s anything like a label to fix me in a certain place (unemployment maybe!) then the disability one will do it.
After this I began to question whether I should leave the section blank, however, the law requires an honest answer, and the Disability Discrimination Act is supposed to protect people against employer discrimination. My friend who is a disability lawyer also said that in positive cases employers are there to provide any adjustments if ever needed.

I guess I am feeling quite vulnerable about all of this now. While employers claim non-discrimination, can we really ever be sure that in the cases where they do see this page of the application that they will not be biased? In some cases it is only Human Resources who have access to this bit of the application but the one I filled out for this job had the question embedded with other sections. I am feeling quite sceptical about this at the moment, and think it will certainly not help my job prospects. And I haven’t even begun to mention the possible discrimination about my age – yes, my 49th birthday is coming up this month! My undergraduate date of graduation will most certainly give the age away, and even then I was a bit older than the average undergraduate at the time. I have a male freelance journalist friend who is 55 years old and he has got so fed up now with rejections that he's considering lying about his age. Heavy sighs, heavy sighs. 

In the midst of this very supportive post-academic community, I will admit that today was one of those days when my MS symptoms seemed to be really playing up more also. By the end of the day I began to question whether I should be applying for work - wondering if I should stick with part-time possibilities only, but there are so few of those available anyway. Is this some kind of weird reaction to applying for this job, or just a reaction to having to sit in front of this computer today and struggle to finish off this academic contract work? Or, is it another physical reaction to having to live with yet another long bout of British rain? Will it ever end, I ask?  Please let me have a bit of real summer!

11 comments:

  1. I read this on the bus on my way to quit some "paid" academic work. I can't cope with the half in half out state you describe. I just defended my thesis in March, and submitted the final version at the end of May. I stupidly shredded to do some work for my former advisor. No contract, and a whole tangle of a mess with regard to pay. I am so miserable doing it. In the mornings I am positioning myself as this new person, searching for work, refining my goals, wiring cover letters and imagining myself in new jobs. In the afternoon, working on this project, I am going backwards, into the misery and guilt and lonliness I experienced when I struggled to finish my thesis (it was a very stressful time, resulting in me not submitting a PhD thesis, advisors wouldn't let me, but that's another story.)
    I am about to have a very difficult conversation in which I tell them I'm quitting this work. I'm dreading it, but I just can't go on. I need the door to that part of my life to be firmly closed before I can move on.

    Sending you luck for the job search!

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    1. Do it. Do it now. You won't regret it. The only person who cares about the outcome is you. Don't let your supervisor guilt you into thinking anything else. Low paid, casualised academic labour is completely and utterly dispensible. They will simply find someone else. The only harm done will be to you if you stay. You don't owe them anything.

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    2. It's done. My desk is packed up. I can't stop smiling!

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  2. Hi Anonymous. Oh I do know how you're feeling and sympathise completely. I'm sure you will feel much better after having that conversation which will make it clear to your advisor and you that this is the end. I think the worst thing, as you say, is the feelings this kind of work brings up again. The feelings of misery, guilt and lonliness of getting through some academic work are awful. It's what has made me realise that I need to be doing something else for sure. I don't mind a bit of time working on my own with 'some' kinds of research, but with other sorts that are often required for academic labour, those 'never-ending' 'not good enough' bits, I can do without, as they just bring up all of those negative feelings. There's got to be something better. Thabks for good luck wishes, which I pass on to you also.

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    1. "There's got to be something better." I hope so. In fact I know so: I feel so much better already having told them I'm done. Now, to find some work where I can know for sure that I am achieving, succeeding, thriving. Thank you for your writing. It's made me feel less alone.

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  3. Hey Jet,

    I have always wondered about the declaration aspect on applications. I try and de-identify my applications wherever possible, e.g. don't put dates of graduation on your awards and just stick to the bear minimum for dates. I would say too that unless you have a disability that requires your employer to make adjustments, then you don't need to declare it. That is, if you just need some flexibility in hours for when you're having a bad day or might use up your full qouta of sick leave - then I would argue that doesn't count. Maybe you can make a case for flexible arrangements after you get the job and reveal all once they decide you're the best person for the job? I am not sure if this fits with the whole UK employment law angle, but perhaps worth some thought?

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  4. Thanks for your comments. Yes, I've spent a fair bit of time trying to think this one through. My lawyer friend tells me I must declare this by law and this is so it covers me in case something does come up, ie, I get ill or need to go to my regular follow-up appointments, and then the employer can't say, oh you didn't tell us. I've had a look also on the MS Society web links around work-related issues and they also say it is best to come clean at the start. It's a different story if you're already employed and diagnosed later - then there's a bit of room for flexibility as to how much you may want to tell them. The issue around 'dates' of qualifications is an interesting one. I've only just now been having to think about this. I guess I've never really felt 'old' and never thought my age would be a problem - oh wouldn't they just appreciate all of my wonderful experience etc., But now I see the realities of the workplace, ageism, and assumptions that people make about older workers. I sympathise a lot with my journalist friend who is very discouraged. Lots of thinking to do!

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  5. I wonder if this might be a difference between the UK and the US. According to my lawyer (ie. Paul) it's prohibited for potential employers to query you about your disability during the application process and they are unable to base any hiring decisions on the disability. This kind of stuff is protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act.

    Now, OF COURSE, people will find ways to weasel around this all the time. Paul's employment history is definitely testament to this. When he wasn't retained by his first law firm, they gave a BS excuse. A year or so later he found out it was due to discrimination.

    So, yeah, employers can be really disgusting and amoral about this stuff, so I suggest protecting yourself any way that you can during the hiring process.

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  6. Thanks Currer. I think I'll rummage through more links on the MS webpage again. One of the reasons why places like university ask if there is a disability is because they can then tick that category box of they hire you and say they have so much of a percentage of employees there with a disability - they are an equal opps institution etc. - again, that section is supposed to be separate from other parts of the application. Some applications have a box where you can tick, I prefer not to say, which I think is best, but then they have often follow that box with another question about health! Uggh, this issue is getting to me! It will be interesting to see what happens with this job application which is now sent off for the deadline.

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  7. Grr, haven't these people ever watched West Wing??

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