Thursday, 28 June 2012

Post job offer happiness

This is going to be a quick little snippet. Still getting my head around the reality of being offered a decent job after so much soul searching and job seeking this year. Today I'm feeling pretty good, with a bit of giddiness here and there. I've also had another birthday last week and as with every year at this time, I find I am often reflecting about my life, where I've been, where I am going, and reminding myself of all of the good things I have for which I am so grateful. So, I decided, in one moment of morning giddiness, to snap a couple of shots to record the moment. This pic is the first one I've revealed here (many of us in the post-academic blog community take pseudonyms and don't have pics of ourselves), but I'm feeling today like it's okay to celebrate a new stage in my life.

As I am another year older I see the grey hairs are multiplying more quickly than ever and they are especially more visible when a certain daylight hits them. Several years ago I made the firm decision that I was not going to invest in any more hair colouring and I was just going to let the hair develop into a new (grey) style. I don't regret the decision but it is very clear that it quite obviously 'ages' me - yes, there is a reason why the hair product industry makes a fortune as it relies so much on our pervasive culture of youth and our anxieties about losing attention. One of the pair of style celebrities here in the UK, 'Susannah' of the 'Trinny and Susannah' pair whose show 'What Not to Wear' hits the heights of popularity a few years ago, made this statement (paraphrase): 'I really don't know what I'd do if I just became invisible and not noticed'. She just couldn't bear the idea of losing her looks or her femininity and she was referring to the invisibility many 'women' experience when they get old. (Funny though, I have spotted a few older men who I am certain add the Grecian formula to their locks but they would never admit to it!) For me, this 'invisibility' experience offers a liberating potential that she just hasn't quite spotted yet. How nice to know that men (and women) will be forced to judge me on things other than my looks as I get older. And how nice to get a point in later life when not giving a fuck any more feels pretty good. In fact, having that attitude can draw another kind of attention that we may not have managed to get when we were younger and more physically desirable. Yay!


So, I know I could take a few years off if not grey, but fuck it, I really just don't give a shit anymore about this trivia. Another bonus about ageing is that you begin to prioritise the important things and the other stuff doesn't get a look in.  I am relieved to finally come to this point in my life. I haven't given up many of the other accoutrements of femininity (and yes, I will totally admit I felt I had to carefully choose which pic to upload!), but this has been a nice start.
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17 comments:

  1. Unknown28 June 2012 at 04:22

    Absolutely with you on all of this!
    And it's a lovely photo!

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    Replies
    1. Jet28 June 2012 at 12:19

      Thanks |Ali. Us mature women need to stick together on such things!

      Delete
  2. Lauren28 June 2012 at 07:15

    I think your hair is GORGEOUS.

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    1. Jet28 June 2012 at 08:36

      Thanks Lauren. I highly recommend it to all women who are just plain fed up with high-price hair maintenance!

      Delete
  3. Kathleen 28 June 2012 at 09:29

    You, and your hair, are stunning! I hope mine greys as nicely!!

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    1. Jet28 June 2012 at 12:21

      Thanks Currer. I am imagining you now twenty plus years older with a great silvery head. But who knows, some friends my age hardly have any and they tell me they've never had to touch the colouring.

      Delete
  4. WTF have I done with my life?1 July 2012 at 04:47

    Hi Jet,

    I agree! nice photo :) Your hair looks lovely. No need for expensive colouring at all.

    I was just following up about the difficulty you had accessing the link I posted a while back. I don't have any difficulty opening it, but I did have to "right click, open link in a new tab". That is, it didn't open automatically just by clicking on it as per other links. Does that help?

    http://www.kcl.ac.uk/artshums/depts/cmci/people/papers/gill/silence.pdf

    Alternatively, it was a paper written by Rosalind Gill, who was at KCL at the time. Indeed, she may still be there. You could just email her and ask for it?

    Or, it did have this imprimatuer (i think that's the word I want) on it:

    To appear in Flood,R. & Gill,R. (eds) (2009)Secrecy and Silence in the Research
    Process: Feminist Reflections. Routledge.

    You could try finding the volume?

    Let me know if you still have problems...

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    Replies
    1. WTF have I done with my life?1 July 2012 at 04:49

      Actually, that volume does sound kind of interesting...

      Delete
  5. Jet1 July 2012 at 10:47

    Hey there WTF, it worked this time, thanks. I think I remember hearing about this piece some time ago, maybe around the time it was published as my friends and I were moaning about academia and there may have been a symposium on in London on women and academia at the same time. I want to pass this on to my close women academic friends as a reminder - we three also have a little academic reading group that we started about 2 years ago and this would be a nice paper to ponder (and continue our moan in 'restrained' fashion! Cheers!

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  6. Daniel L.Phillips17 January 2014 at 14:30

    Every Once in a while a really pretty lady comes about.. It's so cool.. Women are fantastic in au natural hair beauty.. Bless women who challenge stupid resending norms.. Women are surging everywhere with gorgeous silver hair trends.. I love it.

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  7. Daniel L.Phillips17 January 2014 at 14:55

    Wow! You're beautiful.. Bless women who surge in au natural hair. Today women everywhere are starting to crack the forty year mold and enjoy the compliments.. It''s really a cool thing.. Shame it took so long for people to wake up..

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    Replies
    1. Daniel L.Phillips26 July 2014 at 14:41

      Ok-- I have a close relative in Medicine.. She did pre-med, then went through a bootcamp of nurse stuff at three different hospitals in Philadelphia.. She went back and took fourteen other things and later got her masters and PHD.. She's now assistant Deen for a college in Philadelphia and prepares student graduate nurses for the real world of nursing in the City Hospital world.. It hasn't been reach a plateau and Hey- I make a million a year.. Its more twenty hour days and multi tasking and learning every square inch of every nook and crannie.. It pays off but most just want to talk the game and not put the sweat and toil in.. I had a friend I worked with on a night stock job.. He remarked that Massachusettes had the highest number of PHD's per capita then anywhere.. Some were working in convenience stores not ever able to find work.. My mom's dad was a steel worker back even before labor came on the scene.. I asked him as a young guy in steel myself but in a different department.. Did you ever get laid- off? he started to laugh. he answered simply-- NO! He retired with 47 years.. I hit the street more times then I would like to even count.. I'm now today eligible for a retirement.. I'm now working full time for a Home- Improvement store.. I'm in my 8th year.. I've seen tons of people come and go.. Some educated, some less.. What I found out through all this? Some people perservere..

      Delete
  8. Daniel L.Phillips18 January 2014 at 17:56

    I Tried twice to give you a compliment.. Daniel

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  9. Jet20 January 2014 at 09:18

    Thanks for your nice compliment Daniel. I've only just now had a chance to review comments. Still going strong in grey, yay!

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    Replies
    1. Daniel L.Phillips17 February 2014 at 20:17

      Bless You! Promise you'll post more pictures.. Do it for your secret admirers..

      Delete
  10. jivonne23 January 2014 at 06:47

    Love your hair and may I say that I have had gray hair since I was 18 and being "salt and pepper" since 24 so after being criticized I caved and dyed my hair. now at 37 wish to let my hair grow. I don't know how to start w/o my hair being noticed for the growing roots effect. ugh! however must say you have inspired me to search for a solution. any ideas? Only wonder how old are you because you look super young as you said mature. I don't look my age but scared to look like. Thank you for this post.

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  11. Jet1 February 2014 at 07:01

    Nice to hear from another salt and pepper person! I turned 50 in June and it was the best birthday ever so you have lots to look forward to. Like you I have had moments when I have been tempted to 'cave in' and then thought I may regret it later when trying to grow it out again. Some would avice just bearing with the roots and trying different styling that can help make the best of it during that stage. I guess there are the non permanent colours you could use to hide roots and then it just gradually washes out. In time the root area grows longer, so perhaps if you have more frequent trims in between the cuts will eventually meet the length of the roots. A practice in patience for sure. My worst days are when frizz and dry hair look takes over. Thats when I want to pack it in. I'm spending more time now finding tips for de-frizzing and smoothing than ever! Hang in there. I hear from lots of friends who are tempted to stop the colouring but are most afraid of the in-between stage. After that, it's not so traumatic. Enjoy.

    ReplyDelete

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